Wonderment.

All the time, I get lost, I lose sight of what it is that God has for me. I forget what it feels like to allow Him to rule in my life. I forget the twinge of sadness I used to get whenever I was doing something wrong. I forget that sense of wonderment at the works God is doing. I get to a place where I'm so completely out of it, I've begun to think my {fake}smile is real. I believe my lies, & pretend that all is well, & I don't need anything else. I'm getting by . & that's just it! I'm only getting by! I'm not living! I'm not doing things for God! I'm merely, simply, sadly only getting by. 

God hasn't called us to merely get by! He is the God of the living, why then do I not live?! 

Over the last few days, weeks, & overall, months, I've been seeing how I'm NOT living. I'm just going through the motions, saying what I believe everyone wants to hear. How did I get to this place? How did I forget so fully? & mostly, how do I fix it?

I don't know how to fully "fix" it, how to reach a point where everything is okay again, but I do know that there are some things I can do. 

God has been showing me the things He could be doing, if I would stop looking towards the future, & look at the work He has right now. Right now. Think about it. It's such a blessing, & how often do I squander it all away for thoughts of what the future COULD hold? Much too often. There is so much that God could accomplish through us, if we would only give Him the time of day! 

I think{<--that's a key word there}that much too often Satan is able to cause us to believe that we can't do much of anything! He wants us to believe that we aren't worth anything, that we are the cause for all these horrible things happening to us, but that's not true. We are worth so much more WHEN we trust God! He gives us our worth, or meaning. The reason to live, & to live life fully, is God. He gives us so much more than we can ever imagine. A joy, & peace, that surpasses all other things that the world has to offer! We can't fully comprehend it! It's truly a gift! 

But there's even more that we can do, we can tell God of the things that have been accomplished, yes, He knows already all that will come to pass, but He LOVES to hear from us! He loves to see that reaction to the wonderful things He has accomplished!! 

But truly, the biggest promise God has given me to dwell on lately has been John 6:6, "But He said this to test him, for He Himself knew what He would do." 

God knows what He's going to do. Every. Time. Amen & Amen, I say!