amazing things

Jesus. He is doing so many amazing things. EVERY DAY.
He makes the sun rise, the clouds come, the light breezes, the car work, the money, the clothes, the house, the blessings, the meals, the electricity, the friends, the family, the phones, the food, the music, the movies, the tv shows. See how quickly it changes?
while those are all things I'm thankful for, I sometimes wish I didn't have them. I really do. Because they are blessings, but they can easily be distractions, I can't even begin to tell you how often I don't read my Bible, because I have too much school, or a tv series due back at the library, or how often I don't pray because I'm just too tired, from staying up late the night before with my friends. or how often I become selfish in the sense that I DESERVE Jack In The Box tacos. Very quickly, & much too often{more often than not sadly...} I, in & of myself, turn my blessings, into distractions. I allow them to become more than they are meant to be, & I quickly get caught up in their "splendor". I shove Jesus to the back burner of the stove, & I don't remember about Him until I find my relationship with Him, dry, overcooked, & burning. It saddens my heart, to the very core, that I claim to love Him so much, & yet I often don't even feel He is worthy of the attention that is not even a 1/10000000000000000000000 of what He deserves. I forget that He has feelings as well, & that He desires to get to know me, to talk with me, to love me, & have me love Him in return. I forget that He did one of the most amazing things ever, by saving me!
I'm a romantic. I love the whole "saving a damsel in distress" deal, & boy oh boy, Jesus did that with me. He saved me, & took me out of my worst moments, & situations, & He said "Here you go. I've picked you up, I've shown you how to do it right, you won't ever get it, but here's your clean start again. Give it a go."


so....here I go.

Be Prepared.

If you look throughout history, you see a Jewish nation, rising, & being taken captive by turn. Being defeated, & then rising up victoriously. They've been around since Isaac was born to Abraham. & they are God's chosen people.
Often times you'll find that that is a big reason for their persecution, their being chosen by God{the almighty, creator, savior of the universe.} Anyone, or really anything, chosen by God is hated by the enemy{lucifer, beautiful, fallen, angel.} because he too, was once chosen by God, & rebuked, shunned, & removed from God's presence.
All of this to say, the Jewish nation has been persecuted since the beginning. Though they have survived the horrific conditions, & come through thick & thin, this nation, these people, are still persecuted. Merely because they were chosen, & therefore hated. We{Christians, & believers in Christ} are God's chosen people as well. We are chosen to spread the gospel, to share God's love, to seek God, & to rely on Him to lead & guide us in everything we do, & we, also, are hated by the enemy. As Hitler wanted the Jews exterminated, so Satan wants to exterminate & revile God's creation & chosen people. He has prepared his camps for us, & he has begun to herd us to them. He will show us things that will make us question not only God's goodness, but God Himself. He will make it so that very few of us can remember God's faithfulness, nor the warmth of His love. Few of us will come out from this, still trusting God, & when we do, just as the Jewish nation fought for a homeland, we will be called to fight; for freedom to worship God, & we will fight to defeat this enemy of God. Though we will be considered few, we are promised that we will defeat this enemy, & his army. He will be pushed back & brought to his knees before God, he will be cast down, & out, into a pit. & then. Oh boy. Then, we will fully understand God's love. We will be in His presence. We won't remember the times of persecution, nor will we remember the things we have seen, for God's love will outshine them all. It will be peace. & love. & hope. & God.

Heart Happy

Happiness. Of the heart. Wow. That has come to mean SO MUCH to me over the last few days. & it's so incredible. & so God. & upon thinking about it, how much it means to me, & how much I'M LOVING IT, I wonder, why don't I make more of an effort to share it with people who have been so wrongfully deceived by Satan, that he holds the "true" happiness, why don't I want to tell them about this complete & utter happiness{peace, love, hope, etc. etc.} I have? Why? Because I'm scared of what they will think. Then. I think about that...if I care so much about what they think, why don't I care to tell them about this?! It definitely has to do with what they think, merely by the fact that this happiness changes your perspective SO COMPLETELY of, not only, yourself, but of others as well{ie. possibly what they think of me{my original problem}} & it changes it for the {absolute!!} better!!!
Sometimes I don't understand people, & their actions, but I pretend, & right now, I'm going to pretend that I understand humanity as a whole, & say something.
WE ALL CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK. The end.
So. Lets care ENOUGH to want to reach out & share this happy heart party God has going on, okay?

Even Flowers Wilt.

I'm halfway,
To seeing eye to eye,
& throwing this all away.
I'm halfway,
To wanting what you want,
& taking what I say is best.
I'm halfway,
To being halfway there,
& turning around to go the other way.
I'm halfway,
To wishing you the best,
But secretly calling you trash.
I'm halfway,
To feeling done with all these issues,
& pushing them back into their corners.
I'm halfway,
To just accepting it all as "fate",
& saying "this is just Satan's bait!!"
I'm halfway,
To being no where near halfway close?
& no where near where I began.
I'm halfway,
To realizing that this is all just Satan's cruel joke,
& that it's not my own desire.
I'm halfway,
To the point where I want to understand
& halfway to feeling like I almost do.
I'm halfway,
To being rejected, spat on, & trampled,
& I'm halfway to the point of not caring if I am.
I'm halfway,
To accepting myself,
& others as well.
I'm halfway,
To not caring what others say about my life,
& halfway to caring about what I say about others.
I'm halfway,
To being considerate,
& halfway to the point of no longer hating anyone.
I'm halfway...
To part of the way.

Little Things{but they're actually big.}

Oh wow. Today. It's been a day of many different shades & colors, feelings & emotions, & there have been so many varied types of occurrences. I'm still processing it all. The only way I can think of to tell you how I feel at the moment is to tell you how the day panned out, what went down, so here goes I suppose...

I started today by waking up rather late{10:19 to be exact} it was such a strange sensation, to wake up a good 1 1/2 hours later than the latest I would sleep normally, it was nice too though.
So I get out of bed, & I'm feeling pretty good. I go downstairs, eat some breakfast{at least I think I did...that's how crazy{good!!} the day was.}, & then I put in Pride & Prejudice{it's my go to movie these days:))} in order to have some motivation when it came to knitting & crocheting some items for a few different friends. It worked out nicely, I got quite a bit done on more than one project, & I was happy regardless, if only for my watching Pride & Prejudice{I will say though...I've never known that many 800-service numbers to call in 2 hours & 3 minutes before in my {short} life!!}.

After the movie was over I rushed to get ready for work, gather my things, etc. etc.
I arrived at work & got to see the lovely Emily, whom I haven't seen in a good 2 or 3 weeks I think, which was LOVELY.
Work was slow, but good. I was able to work on some school work, & I even had a strange encounter with an almost{not really...} customer. It was a man probably in his mid 40's, he came in & got three samples of the same flavor{I never did catch which one it was...} anyhow. I saw on the camera that there was a customer & I walked out to find him, standing there just licking away at one of the three samples he was holding, "hi! How are you doing tonight?" I asked him as I walked out from the back, "I'm good! Just eating samples" he replied.
"Which flavor did you try?" I asked him, "I don't know..." He replied. At this point I'm beginning to realize this could be a little weird...so I just kinda smiled & nodded my head, hoping against hope that I would be able to catch at least a few words of the mumbles he seemed to be directing at me, "I'm getting ready for the world Olympics!" I finally caught{I know nothing, about the Olympics or anything like that, so I just went along at this point} "oh no way!" I said "what do you do?" I asked him. "I'm with {such & such} elementary school." He replies.
Okay. What does elementary school have to do with the Olympics I'm wondering, but like I said I know nothing...so I just say "that's cool!" & initiate the smile & nod technique again. "You gotta be from the class of '89." He says. "Why's that?" I ask him.
"Cause that's how they made it, I guess." He replies "I'm the only downhill skier in the US"
"That's awesome!" I say
At this point he's just finished his last sample & he's still taking about the class of '89 & being the only downhill skier, while he walks towards the front again, where, I assume, he's going to get a few more sample cups. Nope. He walked right out of the store, mid-sentence too. I was more than a little baffled, but it made me laugh, & so it was worthwhile I think.
After that work continued as normal, & when closing time came I was able to finish everything quickly.
When I got home I had planned on watching The Help with Jen & Jessi, & we were ready to play it when I got a notification for an incoming Skype call!!!{which in itself was exciting, but this one was from Kendall Grafton! My newfound friend! :))} I ran upstairs{so as to avoid being a nuisance to Jen & Jess as they started the movie} & answered the call. Lo & behold though, it wasn't Kendall's face that greeted me, nor her voice, but Dallas Lobdell's instead! At this point I was petty confused...why was Dallas skyping me on Kendall's Skype??? They explained though, that he was merely hanging out & so they were both skyping me, I was just unable to see Kendall at first. :))
We talked for about a half hour, about our days, & Jen{she came in fairly early on & met Kendall}. It was a lovely time, & we were even able to screen shot the memory!{my thumb even decided to be a part of the fun & managed to take up half of Jen & I's itty screen. :))}
After the call we went downstairs & finished The Help, & I got even MORE work done on one of my crocheting projects.

After the movie I went back upstairs ready for bed, & sleep. Lo & behold though....have you ever experienced what it is like to find a leaking FULL gallon of milk in ones bed, come bedtime? I never had either, at least until tonight. My days blessings came crashing down. I was so angry. I was ready to chuck that now half full gallon of milk at the nearest person. How does that even happen?! I don't even drink milk!! I was at a complete loss. I was pretty upset. As I was pulling the sheets off to throw into the wash, so as to avoid as much sour milk smell as possible, I realize that it soaked through, not only, the sheet, but the under sheet thingy too, & got the mattress. My night was quickly going beyond downhill. Why?! It was such a good day! Why?! I kept asking myself.

After getting the wash in & the remaining milk put away where it belonged, I gathered my things & am now in a little "bed"{it's the couch}, going over my day in my head. & whoowee. What a day it was. I'm still frazzled because of that darn milk, but by writing it all down, & rehashing all the good things from today, I realize that a sour milk mattress isn't bad at all. We'll figure it out, there's no need to worry about it. I've realized that those "little things" are actually really big deals! Like one measly bad thing happens, & the day is horrible! But it should be the other way around, it shouldn't take so many good things to make a day good, I shouldn't have to sit down and recount the whole day to remember to thank God for all the blessings found therein. I should immediately think to thank God that only a portion of my mattress has milk on it, rather than screaming why in his face over it.

Moral of this all is to say, or more remind myself, to not make a big deal about such silly things, & be thankful for the LARGE blessings He showers on me.

So with that, my Dear Friends, I bid you all a goodnight. :))

We Are All One...

So I'm sitting in worship last night{I love to watch other people during worship! Seeing them praise God, it's a wonderful thing. :))} & I'm looking around at everyone, just watching & observing them all, when I realized something. Not a single person who came in would sit in a row that had 6 seats or less available{because that meant someone was already in that row}. Now. You may be asking, "What's wrong with that?" but Wednesday night services at my church aren't that big, & yet chances are you may have someone in almost every single row except the very very very back ones on a Wednesday night, Why's that? Because we're scared to meet new people! We honestly don't want to sit next to someone we have never met before! How sad is that! Over the last few weeks I've had the privilege of meeting & making a new friend, & let me just tell you, IT'S SO WONDERFUL. It's amazing how awesome it is! You get to learn all about this person, what they love & hate, like & dislike, eat & won't eat{or can't!}, what their lives look like, what God looks like from their point of view! & to top it off with a nice large cherry, YOU GET TO TELL THEM ABOUT YOURSELF, & who doesn't love talking about themselves?{okay, okay. I love to talk. Especially about myself sometimes, but you aren't weird if you don't enjoy talking about yourself. There are actually probably PLENTY of people who don't like to talk about themselves...}
Annyyyyhoooooowwwww. ha.
So. I'm thinking about it. About how wonderful it is to meet & make new friends, & I wonder, why don't we sit next to strangers in church? Why don't we branch out of our groups & meet new people? Why do we stay in the comfort of what is normal, & hope & pray that we have exciting lives? What's exciting about normal?
& I mean. Honestly. What have you got to lose in making new friends, or even just meeting someone new? Nothing really. Unless of course you'd count that row of seats you had all to yourself a loss.

Gifts

Okay. Let's talk about gifts for a minute or two. Especially with Christmas coming around soon, {& me & my sisters have started a tradition of giving gifts on thanksgiving as well} I've come to think on the subject of gifts a lot lately. & I've actually learned something new about them as well. But about spiritual gifts, not physical ones{more on that(Spiritual gifts) later}. Anyhow. Hm. Where was I? Oh yes! Learning something new about spiritual gifts! It isn't anything spectacular, but I was reading through I Corinthians 12 the other morning where it is talking about the diversity in spiritual gifts, & in verses 9 & 10, I found something most interesting{& a bit of a new concept for me} "...To another gifts of healings by the same spirit, to another the working of miracles,..." Now I know you are probably thinking "What does that have to do with anything?!" but the thing I learned from that is this; That the gift of healing, & the gift of miracles are two completely different sets of gifts! Woah! Talk about a twist on the story!{at least for me, folks...} I had always just assumed healings to be miracles, {& they are!}, but those two verses tell me that a healing in & of itself, is a whole different concept, & gift, than just any other miracle. Now. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, about healings, & how we often are ashamed to proclaim Christ in the sense that we don't often reach out to pray healing over someone, unless asked to directly. Which, in my opinion is not a sin, nor is it the right thing to do, necessarily, but think about it for a minute{please} If healing someone is so amazing that Paul put it into it's own gifting category, don't you think that those who possess such a gift should employ it? Now granted, I don't believe that means they can heal whoever, whenever, even Jesus told people of the requirement{That they have faith!!}, & though they aren't recorded in the Bible{That I know of}I'm sure at least once or twice people were not healed, because they did not have faith, in Jesus' ministry. Does that make Jesus any less so a good person? Or any less God's son? No. So we should also be careful not to judge those who we don't believe to be using their gift of healing, when we think they should, it is between them & God, but we should also ask ourselves if we possess that gift? It's a tricky thing, knowing what your gift(s) is(are), I myself have not the slightest idea so far{God will reveal it in the right timing, I suppose:))}, but if it has not been revealed to you that you possess the gift of healing, or miracles, please, don't just go out into the streets & test if you do. I think it would be a most unpleasant situation for everyone involved if it was proven that you, in fact, do NOT possess either of those giftings.
Anyhow. Now that I've ranted my dear little heart out on the subject of giftings{& it is all probably ill-conceived & said too...}, & have spoken my mind on how they are to be dealt with, I bid you all Adieu, & Goodnight. :))